HAIKU #500

Ending something old
Means beginning something new
Leap forth with bold joy!

HAIKU #499

Most trap music sucks
But some trap music is good
I like the good stuff

#Bounce #GetCrunk #PutYourHandsUp

HAIKU #498

The best Christmas gift
Is God's gift of Jesus Christ
To our fallen world

#SubstitutionaryAtonement #Redemption #Light

HAIKU #497

I like to have fun
If you like to have fun too
You can join my gang

#MermaidSquad

HAIKU #496

Hate cannot be cured
With stronger opposing hate
Hate is cured by love

#TRANSCEND

HAIKU #495

The older you get
The more important it is
To trim your nose hairs

HAIKU #494

Approach politics
With the calm observation
Of a scientist

HAIKU #493

Everybody dies
Politics won't save your soul
But the Gospel can

#PeopleFall #JesusSaves

HAIKU #492

When the day is short
And the night is long and dark
Watch a movie, bro

#MovieNight #Bros4Life

HAIKU #491

Why do some people
Think it's cute to mope and whine?
That shit is toxic!

#GoodVibesAreTheGoal

HAIKU #490

I prefer people
Who don't have sticks up their butts
But to each their own

#LessStress #MoreJoy

HAIKU #489

There are some people
Who will always find a way
To play the victim

#TooBad #SoSad

HAIKU #488

When you're traveling
You should only pack two things:
Dice and duffle bags

#RollDice #GetMoney

HAIKU #487

All of space and time
Is a drop in the ocean
Of reality

HAIKU #486

Revenge is a dish
Best served cold with curly fries
As the saying goes

HAIKU #485

Want to be healthy?
For your go-to crunchy snack
Choose baby carrots

#ThugLife

HAIKU #484

Groom your you-know-what
Treat it like a bonsai tree
Deep bliss will follow

HAIKU #483

This life is a gift
But it's not the main event
So don't get attached

HAIKU #482

Being a nudist
Is not an appropriate
Halloween costume

#LearnedItTheHardWay

HAIKU #481

When you need a win
You should assemble your squad
And get some squad wins

HAIKU #480

Darwinism? No
Evolution is a lie
Earth is 10 years old

HAIKU #479

Darkness is a lie
The truth is that God loves us
The truth is his light

HAIKU #478

There's nothing sadder
Than when a word is misspelled
On someone's tattoo

HAIKU #477

I don't trust someone
If they don't choose the cookies
On a Delta flight

#BetterThanSnackMix

HAIKU #476

Have I miscounted?
Or did I just receive an
Extra McNugget?

#ImLovinIt

HAIKU #475

I think in heaven
All animals will be tame
And cuddle with us

#Affection #Friends

HAIKU #474

There ain't nothin' wrong
With some pumpkin spice liqueur
In yo' coffee, bae

#Autumn #Comfort #LitAF

HAIKU #473

Artists shouldn't care
If their work is well received
Within their lifetime

HAIKU #472

I don't like garters
I think stockings should stay up
Without extra stuff

#Minimal #Efficient #Futuristic

HAIKU #471

On a rainy day
I like to turn off the lights
And light candles, bro

#Cozy #Timeless #Bros4Life

HAIKU #470

Feeling overwhelmed?
Make a list of your problems
Then focus on ONE

#TriageYourShit

HAIKU #469

Discard any song
That doesn't give you a smile
Trust your face, my friend!

#Music #Heaven

HAIKU #468

Fight the impulse to
Take yourself seriously
It's a lame impulse!

#LaughAboutYourself #ForgiveYourself

HAIKU #467

When we want to win
At someone else's expense
That's the stuff of hell

#LoveYourNeighborAsYourself

HAIKU #466

I hate spilling drinks
Especially when I spill
Some purple-ass drank

#LaborDayWeekend

HAIKU #465

We should endeavor
To be sources of gladness
In each other's lives

HAIKU #464

When we know God's joy
We start laughing at mishaps
Instead of bitching

HAIKU #463

We must surrender
So that God can love others
Through us as He wills

HAIKU #462

We should hope to fail
Until we're moved to believe
In more than ourselves

#MoreThanHumanity #MoreThanThisWorld

HAIKU #461

Whenever I smile
People seem to notice less
How fugly I am

#BeautySecrets

HAIKU #460

The greatest feeling
Is a sense of excitement
About the future

HAIKU #459

I don't understand
Why football is so much fun
But somehow it is!

#Vikings #Preseason

HAIKU #458

Loving Jesus Christ
Is like loving a sports team
He wins, so you win

HAIKU #457

Lead us out of the
Darkness of self-absorption
Into love's true light

#Prayer

HAIKU #456

If we only love
People who are lovable
How is that virtue?

#LoveYourEnemy

HAIKU #455

Sometimes people let
Their bitterness define them
Let love define you!

HAIKU #454

Walking in nature
Is fucking cathartic, bro
Urban lakes and shit

#CityLife #LakeLife #Bros4Life

HAIKU #453

I like McDonald's
To go with my day drinking
And my priceless art

#Museums #BigBoy #SpilledMuhDrank

HAIKU #452

Everything you love
About everyone you love
Reflects God's beauty

HAIKU #451

I sleep too damn much
And I say "damn" too damn much
Shit, I need a nap!

#MountainDew #NASCAR #CountryLivinBoy

HAIKU #450

Homer's Odyssey
Rips off its best ideas
From Percy Jackson

#LightningThief

HAIKU #449

A moral judgment
Based only on emotion
Is mere selfishness

HAIKU #448

Culture can uplift
It can also be toxic
Just like people, bro

#GoodCulture #BadCulture #Bros4Life

HAIKU #447

I like ginger ale
Vernors is my favorite
Fuck the other kinds!

#GoHard #FuturePresident #NumbaOneStunna

HAIKU #446

To change people's minds
First rid yourself of anger
Then speak friendly truths

HAIKU #445

God wants to save us
From decay and hopelessness
But we must let him

#FreeWill #Grace

HAIKU #444

I get really tired
Of people mistaking me
For Channing Tatum

HAIKU #443

Through life's ups and downs
We should always strive to be
Friendly and cheerful

HAIKU #442

We should think of love
As a selfless way of life
Not an emotion

HAIKU #441

We're at our best when
We forget about ourselves
While loving others

HAIKU #440

Always tell the truth
Unless you're a little bitch
In which case, tell lies

#WeRunTheStreets

HAIKU #439

Fatigue often leads
To bad decision-making
So get lots of rest

HAIKU #438

Cutting your own hair
Gives you an intimate bond
With your precious head

#Nurture #Love

HAIKU #437

I like cold weather
Because I can cover up
My sexy body

#MODESTY

HAIKU #436

True perfectionists
Hate the word "perfectionist"
It's not good enough!

HAIKU #435

Bad attitudes are
Self-fulfilling prophecies
Expect good things, bro

#Hope #Laugh #Bros4Life

HAIKU #434

I've done bad things, but
What happens in outer space
Stays in outer space

#AstronautShit

HAIKU #433

The world is draining
So the point of home should be
To recharge your juice

#YUP #JUICE

HAIKU #432

I love some music
But if I'm being honest
I hate most music

HAIKU #431

Sex robots are gross
You won't catch me buying one
Until the price drops

HAIKU #430

If heaven is real
There's a chance that we'll get to
Ride pterodactyls

HAIKU #429

I think toast is good
I'm really happy with it
Couldn't be more pleased

#NotJustBread #TOAST

HAIKU #428

If I become rich
My unusual choices
Will confuse the press

HAIKU #427

Be not quick to judge
Be quick only to forgive
And promote healing

HAIKU #426

When April brings snow
A good movie warms the soul
I suggest In Bruges

HAIKU #425

When this life is done
We'll each get what we desire
God, or lack of God

#Freedom #Faith

HAIKU #424

If someone wrongs us
It's our duty to forgive
And respond with love

#Easter #Rise

HAIKU #423

Sometimes I feel like
I'm an inarticulate
Lazy... whatever

HAIKU #422

Evil in the world
Must not be allowed to plant
Evil in our hearts

#Resilience #Love

HAIKU #421

Call me crazy, but
I think The Beatles peaked when
They played "Twist and Shout"

HAIKU #420

I don't smoke reefer
But for Haiku Four-Twenty
I'd try pot brownies

#BobMarley #PillsburyDoughboy

HAIKU #419

Truth is a puzzle
From which every one of us
Is missing pieces

HAIKU #418

The world isn't flat
But a map is still useful
So it is with art

HAIKU #417

People on TV
Are mostly phony show-offs
Acting like dipshits

#BooksAreBetter

HAIKU #416

Everybody wins
When we all serve each other
Rather than ourselves

HAIKU #415

How many doctors
Does it take to fix my balls?
So far, at least four

#RiddleMeThis #WhenWillItEnd #ScrotumGames2018

HAIKU #414

Do you know you're loved?
If not, I'll prove it right now
I love you, [Your Name]

#ItGotPersonal

HAIKU #413

Life is a ballet
Of sad and out-of-breath clowns
Fucking themselves numb

HAIKU #412

I don't like tattoos
Unless they're facial tattoos
Somehow those just work

HAIKU #411

We must not mistake
Earth for heaven or for hell
Both ways lead to death

HAIKU #410

I don't like tattoos
Unless you have a tattoo
In which case, it's nice

HAIKU #409

Justin Timberlake
Is bringing "SexyBack" back
But is it too soon?

#SuperBowl #Halftime #Minneapolis

HAIKU #408

Blessed is the one
Who is neither set for life
Nor in want today

#DailyBread

HAIKU #407

Helpless, frightened child
Clumsy and dripping with life
Your Father loves you

HAIKU #406

Pain and misfortune
Shatter our illusion of
Self-sufficiency

HAIKU #405

The space between us
Gives us form and distinction
As canvas to paint

HAIKU #404

Nothing on Earth lasts
We have no security
Unless it's elsewhere

#HEAVEN #FAITH

HAIKU #403

A fine-tuned heart will
Delight in what's delightful
And hate what's hateful

HAIKU #402

The best part about
Playing video games is
Saving the princess

HAIKU #401

Without examples
It's easy to get confused
And not learn a thing