ENDORSEMENT 14

A lot of people spend their life savings trying to figure out if crocodiles have pubes. But not me. I've been studying crocodiles firsthand my entire adult life. And aside from the initial purchase of the crocodiles, my money stays where it belongs: in my pocket. Unless, of course, you factor in the cost of sheltering and feeding the crocodiles. But that's it. The rest of my money stays put. Except, I suppose, there are the occasional medical expenses whenever one of the crocodiles gets injured or sick, which is surprisingly often. And, in the rare event that you should ever have to bankroll a crocodile funeral, all I can say is watch out. No one prepared me for that. Look, full disclosure: I've spent my life savings trying to figure out if crocodiles have pubes. And all I'm asking for is a generous donation of hard cash and additional crocodiles so as I might continue this important line of research.

Crocodiles. I'm not sure if they have pubes.