ROOMMATE

My new roommate refused to talk
Though I introduced myself nicely
He wouldn't extend either hand to shake mine
Or acknowledge me with eye contact

I asked which bedroom he'd prefer
But evidently he was neutral
I told him a dumb joke to see if he'd smile
He didn't react whatsoever

I broke into a song and dance
Yet still he ignored me completely
I started to poke him to see if he'd move
The problem was he wasn't breathing

Just then a stranger wandered in
And said, "You must be my new roommate"
It was in that moment that I realized
I'd been talking to an umbrella