HAIKU #800

I could be happy

Living in a mansion with

Lots of fun strippers

HAIKU #799

It's unhealthy to

Make negative assumptions

About anyone

HAIKU #798

We'd all get along

If we were less judgmental

And more curious

HAIKU #797

If you bundle up

Low 20s is comfortable

For a winter walk

HAIKU #796

Life's predictable

Way more than you would expect

It's shocking, really

HAIKU #795

A very dumb goal

Is still better than no goal

Unless it's too dumb

HAIKU #794

The best Christmas gifts

Are the forgiveness of sins

And homemade toffee

HAIKU #793

When you live alone

It's good to talk to yourself

And play with yourself

HAIKU #792

Kids are innocent

Until they get corrupted

By this evil world

HAIKU #791

People on TV

Are a lot more obnoxious

Than they used to be

HAIKU #790

Today I saw birds

Hundreds of thousands of birds

Hiding in the trees

HAIKU #789

The world is evil

Therefore you are justified

In hating the world

HAIKU #788

A game is less fun

When the pieces are broken

And the rules are dumb

HAIKU #787

Space-time strikes me as

Something which has been designed

To serve a purpose

HAIKU #786

Sometimes the best plan

Is to have no plans at all

And no pants, either

HAIKU #785

Time endows us with

The capacity for change

Use it while you can

HAIKU #784

Sickness of body

Is far less concerning than

Sickness of spirit

HAIKU #783

In uncertain times

Make plans that are flexible

And be super chill

HAIKU #782

When you have a cold

Do your workout anyway

Just do what you can

HAIKU #781

The people in charge

Seem to want to end the world

So... live for today?

HAIKU #780

No one has a clue

What it's like to be someone

Other than oneself

HAIKU #779

At mixed gatherings

What often unites people

Is Marvel movies

HAIKU #778

When something goes wrong

Do your best Drake impression

Say, "God's plan, God's plan"

HAIKU #777

Fortune is fickle

So even those with bad luck

Can hit the jackpot

HAIKU #776

To oppress people

And say it's for their own good

Is heroic, right?

HAIKU #775

When the days are short

It's the best time of the year

For watching movies

HAIKU #774

All earthly gains fade

As all flesh withers in time

Invest in your soul

HAIKU #773

On December 1st

I like to start rocking out

To Christmas bangerz

HAIKU #772

A child should be praised

For *doing* well on something

Not for *being* smart

HAIKU #771

Many people go

All through life without learning

Who they really are

HAIKU #770

When I catch myself

Behaving like a lab rat

It's time to unplug

HAIKU #769

A lifetime on Earth

Quickly amounts to nothing

For better or worse

HAIKU #768

"Knock, knock," says a voice

"Who's there?" I ask in the dark

"The Holy Spirit"

HAIKU #767

I don't like to see

People disrespect themselves

Unless it's for lulz

HAIKU #766

Arguments bear fruit

Only if we show respect

To our opponents

HAIKU #765

Not unlike people

Institutions change with time

Some become corrupt

HAIKU #764

Exaggerating

To make a point is by far

The worst thing ever

HAIKU #763

When you love someone

You desire what's best for them

Not what's best for you

HAIKU #762

Those who promote light

Must not be deterred by those

Who promote darkness

HAIKU #761

It's unfortunate

That confident idiots

Attract followers

HAIKU #760

Good analogies

Are like mental orgasms

That unclog your brain

HAIKU #759

People's opinions

Should be valued but not feared

There's a big difference

HAIKU #758

When I'm feeling bad

I stuff my face with junk food

And then I feel great

HAIKU #757

One should be able

To explain one's views without

Getting frustrated

HAIKU #756

Open discussion

Promotes clear, healthy thinking

Censorship does not

HAIKU #755

Good conversations

Help us clarify our thoughts

And make adjustments

HAIKU #754

The left punishes

Its followers with piles of

Abusive nonsense

HAIKU #753

I prefer people

Who remain friendly and calm

When they disagree

HAIKU #752

Angels nourish us

Whereas demons feed on us

To nourish themselves

HAIKU #751

Sugar free Jell-O

Ten calories per serving

Best dessert ever

HAIKU #750

If your current friends

Don't bring out the best in you

Seek out friends who will

HAIKU #749

Sin is like clutter

It takes up space in our lives

While doing no good

HAIKU #748

Some people are weird

But I can't relate to them

Because I'm normal

HAIKU #747

The descent to hell

Doesn't start with being bad

But with getting tricked

HAIKU #746

I find it lovely

When two people blame themselves

And not each other

HAIKU #745

With each new moment

Comes an opportunity

To pretend you're sane

HAIKU #744

Watching a movie

That has very bad writing

Makes me want to drink

HAIKU #743

We must be propelled

By our curiosity

Not stopped by our fear

HAIKU #742

Whenever it rains

I say to the plants outside,

"Drink up, little friends!"

HAIKU #741

It's most important

To have a sense of humor

During troubled times

HAIKU #740

My new big thing is

Sipping an energy drink

Out of a wine glass

HAIKU #739

New research confirms

That no matter what you do

It's super racist

HAIKU #738

If you want to see

The world's most giant baby

Look up LeBron James

HAIKU #737

Life's unbearable

If you don't make enough time

For lighthearted fun

HAIKU #736

As a rule of thumb

Assume most people's pronouns

Have recently changed

HAIKU #735

If surprised by change

One likely misunderstands

The nature of time

HAIKU #734

Many "activists"

Have twisted agendas which

Don't aim for justice

HAIKU #733

In case you don't know

Critical race theory is

Evil and insane

HAIKU #732

Positive self-talk

Will help you to love your work

(Best haiku ever!)

HAIKU #731

I get paid respect

'Cause my haiku game's on point

Street currency, bro

#StillTheBest #MothersDay #Bros4Life

HAIKU #730

The Holy Spirit

Is like a joyful conscience

That helps you choose Love

HAIKU #729

Social consciousness

Means a commitment to peace

Not threats and violence

HAIKU #728

Longing for justice

Must not twist itself into

Something cynical

HAIKU #727

Make a distinction

Between what you think is true

And what is certain

HAIKU #726

Tortured artists should

Work on being less tortured

Not on making art

HAIKU #725

It is better to

Fail to accomplish a goal

Than to have no goal

HAIKU #724

It's not possible

To embrace darkness unless

You believe a lie

HAIKU #723

Promoting virtue

Must not lead to forced virtue

By oppressive means

HAIKU #722

What the world values

Is far from what God values

Who has more wisdom?

HAIKU #721

Each new day begins

With the opportunity

To get a fresh start

HAIKU #720

A good diet starts

When you find some big hot nuts

Get 'em while you can!

HAIKU #719

Just because you're mad

Doesn't mean that someone needs

To apologize

HAIKU #718

I can't imagine

Being so insecure that

You can't stand dissent

HAIKU #717

I took my coat off

And stood in the rain because

I'm crazy like that

HAIKU #716

Today I'm learning

What happens when you work out

While drinking whiskey

HAIKU #715

I wish everyone

Would calm down and stop trying

To bring back disco

HAIKU #714

Before breaking ground

Make sure your neighbors won't mind

Your nude lawn sculptures

HAIKU #713

If you go through life

Taking good things for granted

You will lose those things

HAIKU #712

I know what I like

So I spend my Friday nights

Plowing through Beaver

#LeaveItToBeaver

HAIKU #711

An establishment

That silences all dissent

Should not be our goal

HAIKU #710

No problem exists

That can fill you with darkness

Unless you let it

HAIKU #709

Give me liberty

Or if that's not an option

I'll try the meatloaf

HAIKU #708

Even if it's cheap

A new bracelet makes you feel

Like a fancy bitch

HAIKU #707

What unites people?

No amount of fighting will

But forgiveness can

HAIKU #706

Words and deeds are fruit

Beware the poisonous ones

Marked by bitterness

HAIKU #705

Always be on guard

Against harmful stimuli

And be lighthearted

HAIKU #704

All we can control

Is our goals and whether we

Are doing our best

HAIKU #703

If you can't calmly

Process your opponents' views

You're a fanatic

HAIKU #702

Anger is often

The result of assumptions

That are mistaken

HAIKU #701

Taking just one step

Is infinitely greater

Than going nowhere